Never look at others’ movements to determine your own


When you have individuals around you starting paths and paving their own road, it’s hard not to try to mimic their movements. However, the movement of others will never determine yours.


As a millennial in 2017, it’s hard not to feel unaccomplished.


As I move further and further away from my graduation date, I feel more and more worthless. I hadn’t started my extravagant career and I didn’t have millions of dollars in my checking account. And now at the age of 24, I thought I would be doing so much more.


I thought my life would be completely in order and that once finished with college, life would just…begin.


I mean, that’s what happened in the movies; that’s what adults always talked about; so why didn’t it happen?


Get into a good college, get good grades and when you graduate, you’ll have a promising job, says everyone, until they finally go to college, get good grades and graduate with no employment.


The harsh reality of “college-to-job” is that the “job” never comes or you still must work extremely hard for it, regardless of the education you received. Children of this world have been taught to go to school for about 20 years, and when they are done, they will have a job waiting for them. That, if they abide by this standard, they will have a successful life.


Well, abiding is not always the solution.


This norm of “college-to-job” has been so infused into our minds, that we don’t seek anything else but that. In the past, that structure was successful. For previous generations, the higher amount of education you had, the better of a job you would receive. In the past, all the dream jobs—lawyer, doctor, you know the important ones—were highly paid.


The more you dedicated yourself to the profession and increased your education on a specific practice, the higher chances you had of receiving a high-paying job with complete benefits and a great retirement plan. The more school we did, the more we received. However, times have changed…drastically. Those who are making the most money and not the ones with those dream jobs anymore. Kids are growing into adults who want to work for themselves, instead of for someone.


In 2017, it’s all about working for you and only you—without the dire need to go to college.


Creativity and natural given talents are taking over the world and setting the new norm for those who call themselves “wealthy”. We are currently within an economy that succeeds off investments instead of a 9-to-5 and people making more money while lying in bed instead of sitting in a cubicle.


I thought there was nothing beyond the norm.


I “always knew” exactly what I wanted to do with my life and the type of educational institutions I would have to attend to get to that point. However, when my 4 years were finished…I was stuck. I didn’t know if anything I wanted to do prior to graduating is what I wanted to pursue now.


I spent YEARS thinking that the only thing I wanted to be was a lawyer but as I grew up and started really looking at the world, I realized that that dream job wasn’t for me anymore; I couldn’t call it a dream job because it wasn’t what my heart was dedicated to anymore.


I didn’t want to just continue fitting into the norm; I still loved the idea of being a lawyer, but I loved writing more.


For a while, I believed that the only way that I would be wealthy is if I go after those wealthy jobs. I mean, I knew people that wanted to be lawyers too, and doctors, politicians, engineers; all the dream jobs you could think of. Those dream jobs were the only real promise the world has ever showed us to ensure wealth.


Well, I soon realized it’s bad to look at anything but the mirror.


I watch the people around me—from strangers to colleagues—who are marking their presence in the world, got the dream job, got their lives in order and know exactly where they want to go next. Because I didn’t have these same completions, I belittled myself. I shunned myself for not being at a certain point or not knowing what I wanted to do.


I was so mad at myself for not having plans like everyone else until it finally hit me…there is no one else like me and I am not like them.


I realized that I was stuck for so long cause I kept looking beyond the mirror for where my life should be. No one else’s life can dictate my own and when I finally just focused on the mirror, everything became extremely clear. I now have a path, I know what I want to do, got a pretty-good sense of how I’m going to accomplish it and it only took me looking at me. I have so much more focus and creativity because I finally stopped going beyond the mirror.

We can never look at other’s movements to determine our own because each of us is unique. There is not another me and there isn’t another you, so let’s stay focus on the path for the mirror.



New Yorker relocated to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Deiona Monroe is a Lifestyle Writer for She’s It. With a Bachelor of Arts in Political Science and minor Criminal Justice from Temple University, Deiona aims to use her words to spread hope and awareness throughout the world. She wants her storytelling to positively impact lives and use the lessons she has learned from to help someone through their battles. Whether she touches 1,000 souls or just 1, she wants to make sure that her words promote progress and educates all those who choose to read. When not working, she still spends her time engulfed in her notebooks, looking for the right cup of tea or playing with her puppy.