The Self-Trifecta of Well-Being



Self-discovery. Self-improvement. Self-love. You need to invest in these things to give your all with respect to well-being. How are you planning to give your all when you don’t know who you are?  Let me dig a little bit deeper into the subject.



Maintaining a state of well-being is quite easy, especially once you start with the mindset of making yourself a priority.



I know we’re all busy with jobs, chores, school and kids. But everyone can carve out a little time each day to make a commitment to well-being.



Putting yourself first night seem selfish, especially since I’ve recommended the occasional, “stay home instead,” to some of the people I’ve helped with this. But in all honesty, putting yourself first is just going to help everything else work smoother. It’s the same concept as studying for an exam. The more time you spend involved in that subject and learning all you can about it, the better you’ll get to know it, and the simpler everything else will become. Dedicating your time and energy to doing things for yourself is going to ensure that you’re in tip-top condition and can provide more for the other things that require your energy.



Self-discovery is the first part in the “self-trifecta”. Self-discovery is the process of finding about yourself. Have you taken the Myers-Briggs personality test*?  This version is free and takes less than 15 minutes to complete.



I would highly suggest starting there. The Myers-Briggs is a test that will give you a basic understanding of who you are, based on your personality type. From taking the Myers Briggs test, I found out that instead of being an extrovert (someone who gets their energy from being around people), I’m an introvert, and require alone time to be at my happiest and highest state of well-being. I learned much more, including how I process information and how I handle my and others’ emotions.



Finding out more about myself through the Myers-Briggs really helped me understand who I am, even helping me recognize things I never realized about myself before!  



Discovering who you are includes things like finding out what activities you enjoy, the things that make you upset and how you react to stress. It’s all about finding out the things that up who you are and who you want to be.


Of course, you don’t have to agree with everything you now know about yourself. That’s where Self-Improvement comes into play.



You can be anyone you want, and can do so by focusing on working on areas of yourself or your life that you see should be improved.



Let’s say, for example, you want to be an organized person. You could then choose to work out a plan to clean your space on a schedule, or any other way you could think of. It’s all about you and what you want. Improving over time takes dedication and determination, and I guarantee the people around you will notice. Guidance can be found through websites like Don’t forget to lean on people close to you for help too!



Another option is to seek out a mentor. They aren’t that difficult to find once you find you need one. Mentors come in all shapes and sizes. They can be an existing friend, someone from your church, a peer or a counselor from school. Having a friend who isn’t afraid to let you know where you need help is a wonderful gift for self-improvement.



The third area is Self-Love. This is an important thing to have in your life because at the end of the day, it’s crucial that you are able to accept and love yourself.



Even if you have things you want to work on, you should always be accepting of who you are right now. Spend time alone, journaling, taking a hot bath or doing anything that will show you and your body love. Do what truly makes you happy, all by yourself. It can be daunting to start enjoying things solo because we as humans naturally tend to want to share our experiences with others. Learning to enjoy alone time took a while for me, but now it’s something I look forward to every day.


Self-love doesn’t always have to be by yourself. Self-love is being yourself—in the privacy of your own home and in public. “When you allow yourself to just be you, that is when self-love shines through,” says Shannon Kaiser in her powerfully inspired book  The Self-Love Experiment: 15 Principles for Becoming More Kind, Compassionate and Accepting of Yourself.


She also says it is asking yourself: “In what area of my life can I reveal more of who I really am?” Why? Because Self-love is not forcing yourself to change or “fix” yourself, has nothing to do with how you look, nothing to do with how much you weigh or what size you wear.


It’s great that she says self-love is how you choose to live and how it’s important to being honest with you. It is saying, I am hurting. I need help. I am scared. I am anxious. And it’s OK. It is absolutely OK. I can feel this. I can work on this. 



Self-love is also following thoughts like, “Wouldn’t it be nice…?”


“Wouldn’t it be nice to love myself no matter what my body size?


Wouldn’t it be nice to become my own best friend and feel happy to be me?


Wouldn’t it be nice to be comfortable being alone and not need a relationship to fill me up or justify me?”




I think that everyone should spend time getting to know themselves, improving themselves, and showing themselves love and respect. We should become our own best friends.




I want to know what you think about the “Self-Trifecta”, so make sure to leave feedback, and let’s talk about it!



Julie is a nineteen year old who recently graduated high school. She has Cerebral Palsy, but doesn’t let that hold her back! She looks forward to becoming a certified Life Coach, and obtaining a degree in psychology. Helping people succeed is her passion, as well as hiking, working out, and writing. You may reach Julie at or email Julie at