What does our future hold?
Hey my future Deiona,
It’s weird. I never have a hard time trying to talk to our little us, but speaking to you…pretty sure I’ve never done that before.
Though we are one in the same, I have always been frightened to reach out to you because I know nothing about you yet.
I watched little us grow up. I watched her deal with problems and any issues she couldn’t solve before, I have learned to solve them now. But, what about you? What about all the things and issues I have no idea about and thus can’t really respond to? How can I help you? I mean, do I even need to help you? I have grown up a lot, so maybe you aren’t facing so many problems cause I’ve learned to accept and amend? Not entirely sure.
I think you’ve grown to be amazing, and yet I know the path is still unclear.
Thank you, and yes, I have already graduated from college—we attended an amazing university—and yes, I completed it in the standard amount of time; no extra, so that’s a good start, right? The quicker we stopped collecting debt, the better. However—as you probably already know—I have been completely lost after graduating. I earned my degree and had no idea what I wanted to do next. Well…you probably already knew that Law School was going to be a reconsideration, huh? Well, I didn’t, and I wish I did because it took me 2 years to open my eyes to what I wanted more to contribute to the world. Two WHOLE years for me to see that my writing could be so much more than what I was currently doing with it.
I wish we could’ve spoken a while ago, but, what kind of journey is that? And, to be honest, I think little us appreciated me being just as lost and confused as she was. And though I’m still just a little confused and lost, I never felt so in-order in my entire life! I know, I know, you’re reading this and just nodding away, probably laughing at all my curiosity but that is what always made us so great.
We always asked questions, and from what I believe, you never gave up on us with respect to writing and you are the greatest at everything you are doing—you are me, so, you don’t have a choice but to be great.
I’m proud of you, I know you will be proud of me.
I’m no wizard or anything, but I just know that your life is full of joy and wealth and all the stability that you could ask for. But, you are the final step in this building process; the final step in our empire. Do you remember all the work I have done? Like, I KNOW you KNOW it happened, but, is that something that you still pay attention to? I know that I spent a lot of time trying to suppress information instead of learning from it. I tried to hide the fact that I was damaged and that I needed help because I thought it be easier to act like I was okay. I know I have become accepting of my need for help and have accepted never forgetting—even the things that hurt me the most—but I hope you will not grow into a suppressor again.
I hope that when you’ve accomplished all your dreams that you remembered where it all began.
And, I hope that your mind is stable, secure and strong. I am still working on those three, but, I know you got them down-pat. I can just feel it; I can sense all three within you and I only question it because I haven’t conquered them myself. I know it’s coming, it’s just hard to wait for; as you know, patience was something we always needed to work on, so, if you haven’t already figured it out, please continue working on it. I need that so badly!
I have no doubts about how great you are, how great we will be.
I am suffering with doubts within myself now, but YOU, you already know doubt is a thing of the past. You already know that your possibilities are endless and when you begin to open your mind, you can create an unstoppable force. I wish I was already at your stage, but, I know that I need to continue down our path to reach the you that I am dreaming of. Because, I know that I have to do the work to become the you we want us to be!
I’m only 24, so the possibilities are still endless and time is still on our side.
We got this,